In today's society dating is at large in the Muslim community. It has become the norm and many have become resistant to the laws of Islam. In fact a lot of people are not even aware of what the Shari'ah law states, that's how much of an impact dating has had on Muslims today. Although this is going on, there are some young Muslims who are aware of the seriousness of dating and zina. Some want to get married to refrain from sinful actions and to make their relationship 'halal' as some call it.
Whether it is fortunate or not, the Hanifi fiqh allows two people to get married without a wali as long as the marriage is conducted in front of 2 male adult Muslim witnesses, or 2 female and one male witnesses. This is leading to situations where youngsters are having 'playground marriages'. By playground marriages I mean when a teenage couple decide to take it into their own hands and during break/lunch time they get their friends to witness their marriage. And as always the parents of these young adults have not the slightest clue about what has gone on. Some of you reading this may be shocked (just as I was) to learn this, but it does happen and has happened.
We can't blame the Hanafi fiqh because the school of thought has been there for centuries, so lets not even go there, but why do these 'children' decide to take the matter into their own hands and abuse the Hanafi fiqh of marriage?
Some may argue they're doing the right thing. I mean it's better than dating and falling out of the fold of Islam, right? Others have said its plain old stupid! How can one so young commit to something like marriage and at that age they don't even have a clue what responsibilities come with marriage, it is all a whirlwind fantasy journey that a teenage couple are experiencing. I'm sure you'll agree with me the excitement of secrecy!!
Can the marriage actually be called a valid marriage if it is one that is based on lies, secrets and is unknown to the family members and more or less everyone? I actually can't say whether it is or not but I would like to comment on how a marriage like this works? The success rate in my mind doesn't seem particularly too good. And on a final note, whether or not this has crossed anyone's bewildering mind, is it all about sex, and making it 'ok' in a halal marriage? Hmm.. that leads on to another topic, maybe for a later post, but for now I'll leave you with these baffling questions and whether or not you think it's understandable that these teenage kids make such a big step, after all they're not committing zina this way!
I think all of this is based on a parent-child relationship.
ReplyDeleteParents are at fault when they do not build a strong bond with their children, and this is common in the South Asian community which leads to causes like playground marriages.
Umme Hany,
ReplyDeleteI had not heard of such 'playground marriages' before too. I came across it whilst undergoing a module 'Women in Islam' and in fact the marriage was supposedly valid. Who knows what kids are up to nowadays, but they seemed to have become all grown-up (so they say) and are making irrational decisions.
Viiva Glam,
I have to agree with you in the sense that yes parent-child relationship is key for this but perhaps not solely based on that.